Post #17 thinking of Norma and voting

I’m sharing this, in this space, because my mom would have been pretty excited to vote for Kamala Harris this week. She may not have agreed with all her policies, but she would be ready to vote for the first woman, the first Black woman, the first South Asian woman, to be president. And not just for these reasons, but also the campaign and platform she is running on. I’m writing this because I want to communicate how my life and experiences got me here, to this person I am, and how I think and how I see the world. I’m writing this because I need to process some fear and dread and worry that I’m feeling. I’m not writing this to attack anyone, but to communicate. 

I have an older sister and two younger brothers. We’ve all had very different lives, we all lost our mother at different ages (12, 15, 18, 21). We’ve made an effort in the past few years to be closer and connect. And this year, I was happy to find out that we all were on the same page about the 45th. He’s openly racist, sexist, and xenophobic. That is not okay in any circumstance and in any circle, much less, to lead a country. 

I was speaking to a friend a few days ago about people in our lives who are the 45th’s supporters. We spoke about our need and efforts to understand. We spoke about her son, who she describes as one of the kindest, nicest, most caring people she knows, a young Hispanic man. And we grappled with what part of that person’s platform appealed to him. We spoke about the possible disinformation he could be buying into. 

In 2016, the day after the election, I took my Republican colleague out to lunch because I wanted to better understand how a seemingly caring, religious person, with two daughters, could have voted for that person. I wrote about it then, but I’m bringing this up now because I find it very interesting that there is this effort to try and understand coming from at least my circle of “liberal” friends and family. By the way, my colleague didn’t ask me any questions. He wasn’t curious about my beliefs at all. Why is that? What do 45th supporters talk about together? Are they curious about those that don’t think like them?

Here are some things in my life that I am very grateful for. My siblings and their families. I love and am amazed at the people they are, every single one of them. I’m happy to have them in my life. My friends that I still have from my hometown Silver City. I’m grateful that I got to go to college, far from home and meet some of my best friends. They give me perspective and companionship. I’m grateful for meeting my partner and building a life with him. I’m grateful for being able to live in different countries and experience being a foreigner. I’m so lucky to have met Czechs who lived through the Soviet Union’s occupation of at that time Czechoslovakia and hear about what that was like for them, and how it affects the Czech Republic now. I’m so lucky to have lived in the Middle East for four years, and get past the fear and hate of Muslims that permeated US culture after 9/11. 

Alongside that, I most definitely benefit from a patriarchal white supremacist system. If me mentioning these terms made you uncomfortable or if thoughts of, “wow she’s an extremist” popped into your head, I ask you to pause and just allow them to exist and be true for a few moments. Why do they make you feel uncomfortable? What do they threaten? Saying it makes me uncomfortable as well. Am I using this correctly? Do I fully understand what it means? In what ways am I complicit? I can feel all these things and continue to better understand what it means, because the one thing I know is how much white supremacy has affected the systems we all live in today. You know how I mentioned that I was lucky to live in other countries. Well, I was able to do that because I was teaching English. I didn’t really think about this back then, but now I do. I was benefitting from being a colonizer. Would I do the same thing again with my perspective now? That is so hard to imagine. To give up all I got from those experiences (including meeting my life partner), but I hope I would be able to make more informed choices. I can’t change the past, but I can recognize and move forward with more understanding. So yes, I’ve benefited from the patriarchal white supremacist system that the 45th stands for. That doesn’t mean I want to lean into it and you don’t have to either. 

I have one ask of anyone who has gotten this far into my share. In this world where we are inundated with information, and there are people trying to manipulate us through so many means, I ask you that; for any candidate you support, please make sure they align with your values. Watch the debate, the whole debate to listen directly to that candidate. Or watch a full interview, a full rally, without commentators or others trying to interpret what is happening for you. Watch, listen, and sit with what that person is saying about you, other people, the country, what is important, and make sure you are aligned with what you hear. And then go and vote for that person.